Moving Forward

I had a wonderful and terrible dream last night. The great part was that a big publisher that I respect very much had contracted me for five books. The advance was phenomenal, the editor was kind and helpful, even the book cover for the first of the five was exquisite! The editor called and invited me to a big literacy fair they would be attending, and when I arrived I was pointed to a booth where I was scheduled to sign my new novel. My agent was with me, and we walked up to the booth and stopped in our tracks. Over the top of my empty chair was a huge and colorful banner that could likely be seen from space: Today at 3:00 p.m. -- The Most Beloved FAT GIRL in Christian Fiction.

Rachelle's hand flew to her mouth, and her astonished eyes were round as basketballs. But, being the lovely person that she is, my quick-thinking agent said, "I'm sure they meant that in love, Sandie."

Really? Love? It didn't strike me as particularly loving to hone in on my most consistent battle in my life, what I consider to be my greatest weakness, and call the world's attention to it with a giant red, yellow and blue banner. (Yes, sometimes I dream in color that way!) Not that people wouldn't notice the minute they stepped into line for my signature. But still. A banner!?

When I woke up, I had tears in my eyes. I made my coffee and sat down to watch the Sunday Morning news show, like usual. They were doing a profile on Ellen DeGeneres, and the first thing I heard her say was that she hoped people didn't think of her first as a GAY talk show host, comedienne, dance fan, animal advocate, etc. I realized that her nightmare banner might read The Most Beloved HOMOSEXUAL in Hollywood. Yikes.

I admit it. I like Ellen. I know, I know. I'm Christian, and she's gay, and blah blah blah. But every now and then, I turn on her show and almost never walk away without having been entertained, without having laughed, and sometimes I've cried! While still in the process of thinking about that, she said something to Mo Rocca, the guy interviewing her, that pinched me. Paraphrased: "So much of comedy is delivered at the expense of someone else. It's mean. And I made a conscious decision to be funny without hurting another person or making them the butt of a cruel joke."

Ohhhh. So that's what it was about Ellen that appealed to me! For years, I've been frustrated with sitcoms (one of my favorite television genres all the way back to childhood) that start out really funny but deteriorate through their success to mean-spirited or truly offensive, one-track humor...so I've consciously strived not to follow suit. I've tried to employ Ellen's rule in my own humor.

Being the over-thinker that I am, I pondered Ellen's interview while I got ready for church services. Rachelle's horrified face and that colorful banner came into my mind's eye several times. Here's what I came away with:

Our sum total is NOT comprised of our most obvious and painful quality,no matter how it seems. I am not just the overweight chick. Ellen isn't just the gay chick. YOU are not just the harried mom or the bitter divorcee or the corporate failure. These are simply the things we have to fight the hardest to overcome. There's still time to add other things to our banners! Moving forward, we can all devote our time and efforts to developing the things that we want in capital letters on those banners that the world sees.

KIND-HEARTED. SERVANT. TRUSTWORTHY FRIEND. AMBASSADOR FOR CHRIST.

In the meantime, I'm working hard to disprove that FAT GIRL thing. It's a long, long road, but by the grace of God I'm believing that one day it won't even be an issue. What about you? Is there something major in your life to overcome, maybe even alleviate?

Today's Prayer: Lord, help each person reading this to be strengthened and anointed for the fight ahead. Let their biggest challenge today be next year's faded memory!